Getting it Together

When life throws you some curve balls, it can be hard to get back on track. Having challenges is part of life. We all have them at various times, some more than others it seems. With educating our children at home, we often find that difficult circumstances greatly alter our ability to stay with our education plan. We find ourselves detoured as we meet the challenges we face. Sometimes we are detoured far longer than we expected and it is easy to feel guilty, depressed, frustrated, or all of these things combined. If our trials have been of a very severe nature, like death, loss of job, new baby, etc. then we may find ourselves so discouraged that we may give up completely.

How do we overcome challenges that slow down our education?

1. First, realizing that everyone will face challenges in life at some point makes it a bit easier. We need not feel alone or that we are the only one. Yes, other people's challenges will be different than ours, the focus is on that everyone HAS challenges that derail their education at some point, even though they may be very different in nature.
2. Next, we need to not beat ourselves up over lost education time, passion for education, and loss in attitude towards education. When we face difficult trials in our lives, we turn to what is often called "survival mode". We cut back on things that are non-essential and turn towards getting through the day. This is a built in coping mechanism that is given to us by our creator to protect life first. We shouldn't feel guilty about doing this during the most difficult parts of our trials. Over time we can add more of the non-essentials back in. I know, how can education be non-essential? In terms of survival, education is not on the level of essentials, it takes back seat to food, shelter, safety, and personal relationships.
3. The first two steps are mental preparation and giving ourselves permission to cut back. The third step is to look forward to a return to our educational plan in a timely manner. Depending on the trial, it could be months before you can return to a full educational path. Trials that derail us completely like death, severe health problems, and a new baby will take the longest to recover from. Trials of a financial nature, discipline problems, moving, etc. will often take a change in attitude and a few weeks to get back on track. You are the only one that can determine when you are ready to return. Your children may even be very happy to be off-track! That will discourage any mother and make you wonder why you do it all. But, you will find that one day you will feel inspired to return to the schedule and you will feel the pull to bring the family back to the way of education that you need.
4. Once you feel that pull to return your family back to education, take some time to write notes or make a plan to ease back into the schedule. One of the most damaging things I've done in returning to our education plan was to "jump in with both feet". My children were suddenly told that the next day we were starting back to a full education schedule. It was a difficult day and I've learned since to add things in week by week rather than all at once. Usually it is the guilt that drives us to suddenly return to our education schedule in full force.

As we are getting it together after a month of trials, it feels good to get things back into action one step at a time. Our approach is to:

1. Pick a date we will begin returning to our education schedule. For us, that will be after our oldest goes back to college. We decided to extend our annual break a few more weeks to allow us to have more quality family time together. Normally I would start to feel guilty about this, but with so many deaths and health issues in the family, I think we need this extra time.
2. Decide what parts of our schedule are the most important to start first. One area that has crept in is a lot more entertainment than I normally allow. The first thing to change will be a reduction in our entertainment and to make the hours it is allowed to be firm again.
3. Make a plan for which week to add in schedule/rules to the plan. Our next schedule changes will be adding in devotional, kid school, and classes outside the home. These will have various start dates and will be added into the schedule with a plan in place, knowing that our schedule will steadily increase in demands.
4. Follow through with the plan to return to full education schedule. Knowing the plan helps everyone have an understanding of what is expected and when it will be expected. We typically discuss the schedule and the "step-up" plan a few weeks before we start it. Having the plan laid out helps everyone transition with a good attitude and makes the transition much less painful.

There will always be hiccups to any great plan. Learning to roll with it and adjust and tweak the plan as needed is important to remember. I'm feeling much better about our return to home education and hope to have a smooth transition.

Please share your tips and experience on getting back to home education after life's trials.