Getting it Together

When life throws you some curve balls, it can be hard to get back on track. Having challenges is part of life. We all have them at various times, some more than others it seems. With educating our children at home, we often find that difficult circumstances greatly alter our ability to stay with our education plan. We find ourselves detoured as we meet the challenges we face. Sometimes we are detoured far longer than we expected and it is easy to feel guilty, depressed, frustrated, or all of these things combined. If our trials have been of a very severe nature, like death, loss of job, new baby, etc. then we may find ourselves so discouraged that we may give up completely.

How do we overcome challenges that slow down our education?

1. First, realizing that everyone will face challenges in life at some point makes it a bit easier. We need not feel alone or that we are the only one. Yes, other people's challenges will be different than ours, the focus is on that everyone HAS challenges that derail their education at some point, even though they may be very different in nature.
2. Next, we need to not beat ourselves up over lost education time, passion for education, and loss in attitude towards education. When we face difficult trials in our lives, we turn to what is often called "survival mode". We cut back on things that are non-essential and turn towards getting through the day. This is a built in coping mechanism that is given to us by our creator to protect life first. We shouldn't feel guilty about doing this during the most difficult parts of our trials. Over time we can add more of the non-essentials back in. I know, how can education be non-essential? In terms of survival, education is not on the level of essentials, it takes back seat to food, shelter, safety, and personal relationships.
3. The first two steps are mental preparation and giving ourselves permission to cut back. The third step is to look forward to a return to our educational plan in a timely manner. Depending on the trial, it could be months before you can return to a full educational path. Trials that derail us completely like death, severe health problems, and a new baby will take the longest to recover from. Trials of a financial nature, discipline problems, moving, etc. will often take a change in attitude and a few weeks to get back on track. You are the only one that can determine when you are ready to return. Your children may even be very happy to be off-track! That will discourage any mother and make you wonder why you do it all. But, you will find that one day you will feel inspired to return to the schedule and you will feel the pull to bring the family back to the way of education that you need.
4. Once you feel that pull to return your family back to education, take some time to write notes or make a plan to ease back into the schedule. One of the most damaging things I've done in returning to our education plan was to "jump in with both feet". My children were suddenly told that the next day we were starting back to a full education schedule. It was a difficult day and I've learned since to add things in week by week rather than all at once. Usually it is the guilt that drives us to suddenly return to our education schedule in full force.

As we are getting it together after a month of trials, it feels good to get things back into action one step at a time. Our approach is to:

1. Pick a date we will begin returning to our education schedule. For us, that will be after our oldest goes back to college. We decided to extend our annual break a few more weeks to allow us to have more quality family time together. Normally I would start to feel guilty about this, but with so many deaths and health issues in the family, I think we need this extra time.
2. Decide what parts of our schedule are the most important to start first. One area that has crept in is a lot more entertainment than I normally allow. The first thing to change will be a reduction in our entertainment and to make the hours it is allowed to be firm again.
3. Make a plan for which week to add in schedule/rules to the plan. Our next schedule changes will be adding in devotional, kid school, and classes outside the home. These will have various start dates and will be added into the schedule with a plan in place, knowing that our schedule will steadily increase in demands.
4. Follow through with the plan to return to full education schedule. Knowing the plan helps everyone have an understanding of what is expected and when it will be expected. We typically discuss the schedule and the "step-up" plan a few weeks before we start it. Having the plan laid out helps everyone transition with a good attitude and makes the transition much less painful.

There will always be hiccups to any great plan. Learning to roll with it and adjust and tweak the plan as needed is important to remember. I'm feeling much better about our return to home education and hope to have a smooth transition.

Please share your tips and experience on getting back to home education after life's trials.

My Week in Special Ed.

I spent the early part of this week (and will be there tomorrow as well) substituting in a special education pre-K class for autistic children. Needless to say, it has been very interesting. Early intervention is for some parents a saving grace, but I wonder how parents would feel if they knew what was really going on in the classrooms.

I've seen children forced to play with shaving cream while they are screaming, "No, please! Too sticky!" or forced to lay on their tummy rather than sit on their bum to read a book. Some of it is so excessive for silly reasons that I just can't imagine why it happens. What is the purpose? So, I decided to ask a few questions about why the children have to lay on their tummy rather than sit on their bum. I got an explanation of how the child's muscles need to be built in their necks and lower jaw.

But still, I'm wondering why force them? Why not inspire them to follow our lead to lay on their tummy and play a fun game to strengthen those muscles? Do we have to practically sit on kids (yes, I've seen this) and make them do what we want just because they are autistic? Now, I have not spent a lot of time with autistic kids and I KNOW they all have behavior issues (this is part of how they are diagnosed).

My question is...can the Leadership Education model work with autistic children? I believe it can and will even be better for the children. The problem then becomes an issue of wanting results NOW rather than taking the time to inspire the kids. So it seems to be a matter of quick results over allowing time to make the changes in a more loving and respectful way.

I was reminded by a friend about how Helen Keller needed to be forced somewhat in order to learn to communicate. I observed, however, that the conformity was in behavior mostly...eating with utensils instead of hands, eating from her own plate, not being rewarded candy for bad behavior, etc. The people around Helen had created these bad behaviors in the first place. Ann Sulivan only reversed these bad behaviors and replaced them with good ones.

Also, Helen Keller was not autistic and had the ability to learn these behaviors. I don't believe that the comparison is a good one, but still I can see that sometimes force is a matter of getting the child's attention long enough to inspire them. For the children in the class I'm working in they do have "mainstream" kids coming in to be an example, which I think is excellent in teaching them to communicate and model preferred behaviors. I just don't agree with the extreme force some of these kids are put through at times.

New "School" Year (I hate that word)

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Every year previous to this year, I was searching for...something...that would work better than the last year. I've come to the start of the 2010-2011 "school" year and realized I am finally comfortable in our educational plan (or un-plan in some cases). I no longer feel the desire to plan out every little detail or even a "Course of Study" like I used to. I've come upon something better...the individual Compass, the Binder (similar to the TJED Planner) and our family goals.

The Compass
I wrote about this in the past and we are now doing our 3rd Compass (we rewrite our Compass every 6 months). Chris is only on his 2nd Compass. I was trying to do our Compass writing together until Chris pointed out that I am expecting the same things out of him as I am of Marly. I took his advice and we now sit down, mentor and student, one-on-one, to write our Compass. Marly did most of hers before our meeting and she just filled me in on what she wrote (anybody thinking "Self-Directed Scholar" here?).

I was happy to see more depth and thought is being put into the Compass each time we rewrite them. I encouraged them to keep their older ones, making sure the new one is on top. I want them to see their own progression and enjoy the new things that they have learned and to not forget where they have been.

The Binder (Planner)
Oh yes, we still have our binders, but they are taking on a new shape as well. Each student is now customizing their own binder. We added a couple of new things this year and re-organized for finding things better. I'm going to create separate posts on each student's binder that will post in the next few days. I'm trying to document the different things I see as each student progresses through the different levels of Scholar Phase.

Family Goals

I've been adding more books to my "to-read" list. Some I have found only needed a skimming for specific information. One of those books was "A Charlotte Mason Home Companion". I do think some of Charlotte Mason's philosophies fit with Leadership Education. One such philosophy is living an "educational life". I do believe that the TJED version is "life-long learning" and being "self-educating". I believe living an educational life is in direct correlation to our religion. Christ wanted us to learn and grow in the gospel and in our earthly life.

Mistake #5 - Promote a Typical Modern Teenager Social Life

Reference: Leadership Education by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, pages 212-224

Now, this is where many of my friends start to get uncomfortable. Everyone begins to reminisce about "the good ol' days" and how much fun they had in this club, that sport, and running around with their friends.

"It never ceases to amaze us how ingrained this conveyor-belt mistake is in parents - ourselves included. Maybe it is because the best part of our conveyor-belt education was the social part." - Leadership Education, page 217

Not ALL social is bad, but nor is it all good either.

"Our point is not that Young Adults should be less social. A healthy Young Adult wants more social interaction outside the family than he will seek during any other part of his life." - Leadership Education, page 218

The emphasis is quality socialization. My children have become fairly choosy about their social life. They want to check it out first, meet the people involved, see what the process is and then make an educated decision on if the activity is for them. Sometimes, they blow me away with their insights on why they want to go to certain classes and why they don't want to attend other functions. I realized that the education they are getting really does help them make decisions in their life.

I have noticed in the last two years that my younger children are bothered by unruly "teenager" behavior - at church, at the store, in the neighborhood, etc. They often comment to me about how petty "teenagers" are to them and that they are sick of hearing about who-is-dating-who and what new fashions are "in". Of course, the kids talking are not even old enough to date as my son often points out during Sunday School to his peers of other 12 and 13 year old youth. I know that they are aligning themselves with the right kind of friends, including many public schooled youth.

I did not have a large social life, but my husband did. In the early years of our homeschooling he often commented about the kids "missing out" on football or dances. Now, he has realized that our children participate in lots of great activities and THEY do not feel like they are missing out on anything!

Overwhelmed?

Have you ever felt overwhelmed? Well, I think that feeling looks something like this...

where I am the donkey and the burdensome cart is my life.

What do you do when you are in this situation?
Anybody who reads my blog knows we are a TJED family (homeschooling family using the Leadership Education model). There are so many principles in Leadership Education that can be used by anybody, in any situation, public schooled or homeschooled, kids or no kids. One is the Six Month "No". This is where I sit down and make a list of everything I have on my plate - kids, husband, household, work, church, myself, etc. I list every teeny, tiny thing - grocery shopping, hair cuts, washing the car, things I've been asked to do, cleaning, kids sports, etc. Then I ask myself the following questions:

• Do I absolutely HAVE to do this?
• Can someone else do it? (delegate to...)
  
• What are the ramifications if I don't do it?
• How will it affect my family if I don't do it?

After truly taking time to ponder each item on the list based on these questions, I find that I can mark off several things that are really NOT necessary, freeing up my schedule for the stuff that IS important. Each time I implement the Six Month "No", I find new ways to balance my life...which allows me to stop being the donkey!

Key #3 - Quality, Not Conformity

Conformity is what the Conveyor Belt education plan is all about. Children are taught the same things at the same age in their lives regardless of if they have mastered the topics before, their learning styles, or if they are emotional ready. This is a great tragedy for many students.
In the Leadership Education model, quality is the focus. Quality materials, the classics, are used in place of watered down textbooks. Quality in time replaces meaningless busywork. Mastery of topics is the key regardless of how long it takes.

How We Use This Key

We pick reading materials from the Classics for Youth list for almost all of our literature and English studies. Mathematicians are People Too (Vol. 1 & 2) are fantastic stories of famous mathematicians to study how they came to their conclusions. Spiritual Lives of the Great Composers in addition to CD's of the classic music pieces add to a rich study of music. My children can now recognize certain composer's music in movies and TV. So can I!
Real world experiences in fieldtrips and hands-on projects replace the stale classroom environment. My children can engage in projects based upon both their education goals and the topics we are studying together. This year we have also added the Four-Year Plan in which we are studying Genealogy. This year-long project will teach us more about our ancestors while we progress the Lord's work here on earth. We are so excited to include our own memory books and personal time lines as part of our education.

Eight Keys of Great Teaching

This used to be Seven Keys of Great Teaching, but Dr. Oliver DeMille added a new key in his new book "Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning". I feel that these keys are useful to every family - home schooled, public schooled, or charter school.

1. Classics, not Textbooks
2. Mentors, not Professors
3. Quality, not Conformity
4. Time, not Content
5. Inspire, not Require
6. Simplicity, not Complexity
7. You, not Them
8. Secure, not Stress - NEW!

My first instinct when reading this list was, "I can do this!" and then it changed to, "HOW do I do this?" Over the next few months I will post about each KEY to Great Teaching.