Trauma and the Phases of Learning

I'm going to go further out on a limb here than I have ever gone before.

**Deep Breath**

Here goes nothin'...

I am a child of domestic violence. In other words, I grew up in an abusive home. I saw a lot of violence over the years, even up into my adult life, at the hands of my father. I experienced many acts of violence personally over the years.

My family will most likely spew expletives at me for divulging this information in cyber space. I can understand that they want to keep it quiet. However, I have learned some things that need to be shared. I've decided that part of my healing is to speak out and to share.

Trauma - How it Affects Learning

As a foster parent, I attend many classes and training on everything from dealing with children who have been abused to various types of abuse and how to identify the abuse. Through all of this, it has been shared with many professionals what I experienced and how I have overcome. I am not healed completely, yet I have come so far that I can now help others.

I recently learned about trauma that can happen in the womb and early years of childhood and how detrimental these traumas are to the brain, and thus, to the ability to learn. For example, a child in the womb actually experiences the same fear and trauma that the mother feels at the time of the trauma. The brain can be hard-wired to be anxious and fearful before the child is even born into the world.

The brain becomes hard-wired in the emotional centers of the brain by the time a child is 3 years old. All traumas before this time will forever be part of the brain. Older children can experience the same types of trauma and have life-altering affects. This is not to say that children or adults cannot overcome, it just makes it harder to overcome.

My Own Traumas - My Child's Traumas

While I was pregnant with my youngest child, my father threw a chair at me. I narrowly missed getting hit in the stomach with the chair, which had it connected with my body, I'm sure I would have lost the baby. Luckily my mother helped me maneuver out of the way at the last second. I never set foot in my parent's home again. However, the damage was no where near done. Throughout the next year my father plagued me with threats and fear raged in my heart.

I now realize how much this damaged my child neurologically from the womb and during his first year of life. I also know why this affects his learning. He is a very bright person. But, he struggles with moving into and staying in Scholar Phase. His fears get the best of him. He can't help it, it is part of his brain.

I know that all phases are 80 years, give or take. So, I am not discouraged anymore. I know that my new-found knowledge of trauma and how it has affected me and my children will help me move further on the Path to knowing how to best inspire myself and my children.

Overcoming and Learning

A few years ago I heard a talk by Dr. Shannon Brooks, co-author of Thomas Jefferson Education for Teens. He talked about traumatized children and how difficult it is for them to learn. He spoke mostly about children in public school who are worried all the time and so their focus is directed at survival rather than learning.

I remember coming away from that seminar event pondering about the child who is homeschooled but has been abused outside of the home. Maybe from bullying in scouting or in the neighborhood. Or, the child that was molested by a babysitter or older neighborhood child. How does this translate if the home is loving and safe, but an outside trauma has harmed the child?

I believe that any trauma will stunt the learning process. From Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs we can see that when a person is focused on their safety they are not able to operate in the higher levels.

Leadership Education Has the Answers

I love Leadership Education with it's extremely thoughtful process and detail to personal needs. Yet, in all of the books I have not found the exact answers to how to overcome traumatized individual needs. I guess that is what my task is now, to find the answers. TJED/Leadership Education is the way! I just need to find the individualized things to bring it all into play in the way that my son needs.

Traditional methodology has not met the criteria so far. Yet, I know there are answers. There are classics that meet these needs. There are people and mentors that can meet the challenge.

For me, there have been several Healing classics that have helped me personally to overcome my traumas and re-write the lessons of Core Phase.

• The Chosen (Ballantine Reader's Circle) by Chaim Potok
• Little Britches: Father and I Were Ranchers by Ralph Moody
• JANE EYRE by Charlotte Bronte
• The Lonesome Gods by Louis L'Amour
• The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
• Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin
• The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner

So...off I go into the wild unknown once again in search of more inspiring classics!

Core Phase Learning

I tried to teach my child with books.
He gave me only puzzled looks.
I tried to teach my child with words -
They often passed him by unheard.
Despairingly I turned aside, "How shall I teach this child?"
I cried.
Into my hands he put the KEY,
"COME," he said, "AND PLAY WITH ME."

~ "The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook" page 191

Why is it so hard to grasp the need to learn through play? Is it so hard to realize the balance of learning needed for Core Phase children, teens, and adults? Yes, it is, or we wouldn't be having this discussion, would we?

In my previous post I introduced some ideas on Three Types of Learning - Basic, Inspirational, and Creative. I'd like to discuss in this post about the balance of these three types of learning for Core Phase.

Core Phase Learning

During Core Phase, the main focus of our education should be "Creative Learning". However, in conveyor-belt education systems, we see the opposite is true. Children learn best through play, mimicking others, and repetition. Like the triangle represented here, most of a Core Phase child's time should be spent in Creative Learning, with some time dedicated to what "inspires them" and a little time in learning a basic education.

Let's define them each a little further for the Core Phase child, teen, and adult.

Creative Learning

This is the time when children should complete their Core Phase.  Children naturally want to learn about the world through play. They pretend to play house, with a dedicated Mommy, Daddy, Baby, etc. They "mimic" family life and relationships. They build towers of blocks, cups, pillows, and eventually venture into forts, castles, and battleships.

Life is full of exciting things to learn by playing with baby dolls, Barbies, Legos, stuffed animals, and household items. But, they also learn by drawing with crayons, shaping Playdoh with their hands, making mud-pies, and making swords out of sticks. There is no limit to the imagination...all things are possible while at play!

Right and Wrong, True and False, Good and Bad can all be taught through play. Children see the world through concrete terms. This is the right time and perfect time to teach about Family Life, Society, and God.

Inspirational Learning

With most of a Core Phase students time spent in Creative Learning, there is some room for inspiration. Core Phasers naturally want to know the "why" of everything that interests them. Take those roads as they appear. Make the effort to explain, touch, and feel the world. Nature is a very inspiring place to spend time as a Core Phase student.

For older students and adults, nature and life around them is the best place to start looking for inspirational learning. This can be in the form of a nature studies book with pictures or writings about what they see and experience. Follow the paths of interest...never stop a person from exploring unless it is dangerous or unwholesome.

Basic Education

All children who are not forced eventually want to learn to read, write, and do mathematical figures. Core Phase students will want to know what is in books, what the street signs say, and how many cookies are on their plate. These can come very naturally throughout the life of a child. It is when we begin to force this type of learning that we see the fatal failures that Core Phasers need to avoid.

Relatively little time needs to be spent on a Basic Education for Core Phase students. Most of the Basic Education will be covered in the Inspirational Learning arena if properly introduced when the student is ready. Devote less than 30 minutes a day towards traditional Basic Education. Rather, introduce a variety of learning opportunities through Creative and Inspirational Learning instead.

Conclusion
Finding the right balance in what type of learning should be done in each phase is the key to success! Most "supposed failures" in home education can be quickly remedied with adjusting your balance of learning. For Core Phase, the majority of stresses come with putting too much Basic Education in front of your child while ignoring Creative and Inspirational Learning activities.

Another book I highly recommend for all home educators is The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook. It is very compatible with all of the Thomas Jefferson Education principles.

Renegotiating in Love of Learning, Scholar, and Depth Phases

Can we renegotiate Core Phase lessons and still be a Love of Learner or a Scholar?

Yes, in fact we should still consider ourselves in whatever phase we feel we are in. It is true that someone with a lot of Core Phase lessons to learn may need to consider themselves in Core Phase for a time while they learn the lessons needed to have a well-rounded Core. This is only true if the person absolutely hates learning. The "aha" moment comes when one can see the big picture of how all the phases 1) build upon each other and 2) are always present to be used over and over.

However, for some, that seems to give them a license to "stay" in Core Phase until they achieve perfection. Frankly, that is not possible. We do not achieve perfection in this life. The important thing to focus on is progress. This means progress through the phases and into the next phase as quickly as we can. As adults starting our TJED journey, we need to make sure we are grounded with intact Core and Love of Learning Phases before moving on to a Scholar Phase without staying too long in a Phase. Once we get the lessons learned, move on to the next phase.

Determining Phase Level

The first job of a mentor is to determine our own phase. How do we do this? Study the Phases! Read the following books to understand the Phases of Learning (the order is important as well):

1. A Thomas Jefferson Education: Teaching a Generation of Leaders for the Twenty-First Century
2. Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning
3. Thomas Jefferson Education for Teens (do all of the exercises yourself!)
4. A Thomas Jefferson Education Home Companion
5. The Student Whisperer

It is very tempting to just read one book and get started. That's OK! Start where you are, just don't let yourself get frustrated until you have read and studied more. Most parents do not want to read Thomas Jefferson Education for Teens, but I promise you that if you are ready for Scholar Phase, you will be able and willing to do all of the exercises in the book. If you are not able and willing and just can't bring yourself to do it, then maybe you are in Love of Learning. That's OK! Now at least you have an idea where you might be.

I'm in ____________ Phase but have Core Lessons to Learn

This is the most common statement I hear when someone has learned all of the phases. They recognize that they are in Love of Learning or Scholar Phase, but have an unfinished Core. This is the case for most adults. It was the case for myself and most of my children as well. 

Most adults and older children find they do love to learn about specific subjects. This tells us that they are most likely in some form of Love of Learning. They have a zest for learning about their favorite subjects. Yet, the same person may find they have behavior problems or an inability to say...tell the truth....or maybe they struggle with staying motivated even when it is a subject they usually love. We know they have some Core Phase lessons to learn, but they are IN Love of Learning Phase.

Another example, an adult finds that they love to learn about several topics. In fact, they love these topics so much they get a headache trying to decide what they should focus on first. This tells us that they are most likely in some form of Scholar Phase. What they are looking for now is direction (see The Compass). Yet, the same person may find that when they study subjects they don't like they tend to ignore them or even say they studied them when they didn't...or maybe they have behavior problems in how they talk to their parents...or maybe they are very angry all the time. We know they have some Core Phases lessons to learn, but they are IN Scholar Phase.

Summary

We can see that moving through the phases is a continual process, not a checklist, where Core Phase is done...in fact it is never done. Neither is Love of Learning! If we lose our Love of Learning we need to go and find it. We are always working on Core and Love of Learning, and even Scholar phase, while we are in Mission. We can't lose those Phase lessons or we fall out of Mission Phase. They are always a part of us.

Renegotiating - Will Power (Motivation)

This is another segment on Renegotiating Core Phase lessons. First see The Beauty of Core Phase if you have not already to better explain the misconceptions of Core Phase.

Will Power (Motivation)

Sometimes, and often at the same time, as a person begins to feel hope again, they notice they have a lack of motivation or will power. Sometimes people feel hope, but don't fully feel happy about themselves due to lack of will power. In Erickson's stages of development (see Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning pages 23-26), having will power is something that should be learned between the ages of 1 and 3 years old.

The ways to teach these lessons are a) give simple choices, b) do not give false choices, c) set clear, consistent, reasonable limits, and d) be relaxed with mood swings.

With the teen or adult we could:

• Be clear with our statements about what we expect.
• Never expect the person to "read your mind" or "know what you mean".
• Have a sense of humor about things that don't matter very much.
• Meet on a regular basis (Family Executive Counsel and Mentor Meetings) to discuss issues and solutions. Avoid doing so in the heat of the moment.
• Accept the person as a work in progress, raising the bar of expectations in small increments as they have success.
• Encourage the person to record their successes in a journal.

Clear Statements

Have you ever heard the story about a mother who tells her child to stay out of the street. After watching the child for awhile she see the child head directly into the street. She rushes out to save the child from nearly being hit by a car. In a frantic moment she says, "I told you to stay out of the street!" The child then innocently says, "What's a street?"

Often parents believe their child has had clear instructions, when in reality, the child has no understanding of what is expected. It is imperative that we instruct a child on their level of understanding, including teens and adults. Some examples may be clear instructions on time usage, scheduling, and household rules. Teens are very skillful at dissecting rules for "loop holes".

Examples:

Wrong - "Get your chores done before bed."

Right - "All of your family work must be done by 9pm."

The young adult may think they can avoid going to bed by dragging out family work time. With a time set as a deadline, the parent avoids going back and forth over when bed time is.

Wrong - "If you get your study time done, you can go to a friend's house."

Right - "When your study time is over at 3pm, you can go to a friend's house."

Saying "if" creates the possibility of getting out of doing a task, it is one of those "loop holes" teens look for. Using "when" suggests that it is not a matter of whether they do it or not, but that it must be done before another task can happen.

Reading Our Minds

In the book, Secrets of the Teenage Brain: Research-Based Strategies for Reaching and Teaching Today's Adolescents, states that logic centers in the brain are not fully formed until around the age of 21. Youth before that age respond more with their amygdala (emotion center) than adults. Adults have difficulty fathoming why youth respond so emotionally and cannot "connect the dots" when given instructions. This is why it is imperative that we help the young adult, and adults with immature brains, to learn how to connect the dots by explaining it to them with all the steps involved.

Sometimes, the youth may respond with "I'm not a baby! I can do it myself!" When this is heard, we have gone a little too far. One rule of thumb may be to explain the first time. The second time, ask how they plan to do it. If the plan is sound, let them go at it. If the plan is missing steps, ask "How do you plan to ...." When explained in this way, the youth will often say, "Oh, yeah...I forgot that part." or "Yea, I know." They may not know, but at least they got that step included now.

Sense of Humor

Shaking off the things that are not important is a valuable coping skill. Learning to laugh off the small stuff is a healthy way to respond to life's little hiccups. The best way to teach this is to do it yourself. Laughing at small spills, missed turns on the road, or silly mistakes when cooking all show an ability to find the humor in life.

Be careful not to laugh at the person who lacks will power or motivation. This will come across as cruel or condescending.

FEC and Mentor Meetings
Challenging a youth or adult who lacks will power in the heat of the moment is a sure fire way to get someone to put up an immediate defensive wall. When addressing an issue, it is better to wait until a scheduled Mentor Meeting or Family Executive Counsel time. By doing so, we diffuse any anger or resentment. The Mentor Meeting is the perfect time to both praise acceptable improvements and exceptional achievements as well as address areas that need improvement.

Remember, the youth or adult who lacks internal motivation is working on Core Phase lessons. Do not expect Love of Learning to be present or Scholar Phase attention to be reached.

Work in Progress

It is important to remember that the youth or adult working on will power is a work in progress. It is tempting when we see some progress to amp up the expectations. This can cause an immediate reversal of progress. Let the person showing progress continue at that level of expectation until it becomes habit. After the habit is formed, then step up the expectation in a small increment.

Some examples:

Johnny says he hates reading and all books are stupid. One day he finally picks up a classic, Louis L'Amour's The Daybreakers, and begins to read it. The excited mother runs to the library and brings home 10 more books by Louis L'Amour. 

It is obvious the mother is excited about this first step towards Love of Learning or Scholar Phase, but overkill in enthusiasim can cause reverses. Instead, when the child has finished the mother could ask how her son liked it, is that a type of story he would recommend to another boy or a friend, and is it a classic. Then, if he likes the story, she could ask if he would like others by the same author. Don't be discouraged if he says "no". The perceptive youth is likely to back off of expectations of more reading. When will power is established as a habit, the youth will request for more books by the author.

The Success Journal
The success journal is a powerful tool in helping both youth and adults. If they do not like to write, consider a simple list of what they accomplished that day. I've seen great insights reached by youth who begin to be inspired by their own list of accomplishments each day. Seeing it on paper can bring the realization that they are more motivated than they thought. Remember, the teen brain is still growing in logical thinking.

For a very reluctant youth or adult, consider keeping the list for them. I've used a weekly planner to track simple notations of what was accomplished each day. Showing that to my children at Mentor Meetings and at FEC has shown that more is happening than it sometimes appears. Over time, have the youth take over their own tracking in a simple planner. This can bring a great sense of accomplishment as they see over time their progress and their ability to stay on task with more complicated study time.

Summary
Will power is a Core Phase lesson than many teens and adults struggle with their whole life. Things like obesity and addictions are proof of that. Having will power of internal motivation for education is a learned habit. It is something we may need to revisit often over our life, I know I have.

Renegotiating - Hope

This post is part of a set about Renegotiating Core Phase lessons. I decided to expound upon the two examples given in the post linked above and add a bit more explanation, as well as add more Core Phase lessons. This topic of renegotiating Core Phase is one that is extremely important, especially for those just learning about TJED. I floundered for two years trying to figure this stuff out and I hope that my experiences might at least give one person the courage to keep trying.

Hope

If something happens that eliminates our hope...then we have a Core Phase lesson to work on to renegotiate ourselves back to having hope. In Erickson's stages of development (see Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning pages 23-26), having hope is something that should be learned around the age of 1 year old.

The ways to teach, or renegotiate this lesson, is to have a) lots of physical contact and b) respond immediately when they cry or fuss.

But, what do you do with the depressed or grieving teen or adult? We do the same thing, but in grown-up ways.

• Offer hugs and a shoulder to cry on as often as needed. 
• Never belittle their worries, fears, or struggles.
• Constantly inquire after their needs to make sure we do everything we can to help.
• Be aware of things that trigger depressive states (see list below).
• Be aware of things that bring happiness and lift their attitude.
• Provide as many uplifting experiences as we can.
• Praise good attitude behaviors.

A key factor for returning to Hope is to remove things that promote a hopeless state of mind. Our minds are constantly fed by images and sound. Even if we are not consciously aware of what is around us, our subconscious will pick-up on the real messages these things carry. 

Areas to review and reassess for removing unwanted negativity:

Movies/TV

Remove movies and television shows that have violent and/or depressive themes. Find movies and TV that are uplifting and teach good values to replace them. Find those older classic shows. Local libraries often have these on DVD to check out for free. There are also many older classics available on Hulu and Netflix.

Limit these positive role model movies and television. Whatever has been allowed in the home before, reduce it by at least half. That sounds drastic, but it can be filled by other activities that are inspiring.

Music

Remove music that is violent or has depressive themes, especially those that demean or devalue sex and members of the opposite sex. Also remove all music with cursing or themes about drug abuse. These are always meant to bring the mood down, never to uplift.

Music plays a major role in reversing mood. Choose uplifting music and play it softly in the background throughout the day. Find a song or set of songs that are especially meaningful for uplifting each person's mood. Make a favorites CD to play whenever the family member(s) feels down.

Religious music is especially helpful in lifting mood. Even certain instrumentals have been found to lower blood pressure and create peaceful feelings. Having a theme song for your family is something fun to work on. When my children were young we sang "If You Chance to Meet a Frown". Now we use "I Am Wonderful" by Gary Go (lyrics).

Books
Remove books that are not uplifting, especially adult material and horror. Again, fill the book shelves with uplifting classics. Some books where people overcome difficult things in their life can spark that switch in thinking to help the depressed person begin to have confidence in themselves to overcome their own problems. In some cases, there are self-help books that also might be helpful.

See my post titled "Reading Leads to Less Depression?"

Video Games
Video games and other time wasters online are a leading contributor to depression and loss of hope. Reduce the amount of time spent on these endeavors and get rid of violent and depressing games altogether. Mature and above rated games are full of images that bring on depression and hopelessness.

Reduce the amount of video game time by at least half. Remove personal devices from bedrooms and bring them out to the family room. Often, depressed teens will hibernate in their rooms when what they really need is their family to be around them.

A good resource for learning more about the dangers of video gaming is Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men. 

Friends/Peers

Sometimes teens and adults get involved with friends or peers that contribute to their feelings of hopelessness. Clean-up those relationships by setting clear boundaries or get rid of them altogether. Do not spend time with people who belittle, bully, or encourage their friends to break the law or engage in sinful activities.

This includes online friends and social networking sites. A lot of trash is transmitted through online sources that lead to hopelessness and depression. Find out who is talking, texting, emailing or Facebooking members in the family. It might feel like spying, but it is part of a parents and spouses job to make sure the family members are safe and happy.

Another area to look into is the types of activities that are engaged in with friends. Many times teens now want to hang out indoors rather than engage in wholesome activities outside. Encourage and plan things that get youth out to enjoy the world we live in. Some favorites of ours are hiking, fishing, biking, and just taking the dog for walks.

Harmful Substances
Alcohol, street drugs, and over-the counter drug abuse always lead to loss of hope. These addictions need to be dealt with in the proper way with a support system and counseling. If a loved one is dealing with these addictions, get help for them. Do not be an enabler who looks the other way.

Harmful Situations
In some cases, people allow themselves to be in harmful situations with abusers or other unsafe people. Removing harmful people from one's life is a difficult thing to do, but it is of utmost importance in order to return to hope. If someone is in an abusive situation, get help. Staying in long-term abusive relationships keeps both people from healing.

Renegotiating Core Phase

In TJED circles we sometimes hear the phrase "renegotiating Core Phase". What does that mean? We all are imperfect beings after all, does that mean I'm always in Core Phase? Am I always working on myself? Will I ever be a Scholar?

The answers are pretty much.....yes!

Yes, you will always be in Core Phase.

Yes, you will always be working on yourself.

Yes, you will be a Scholar if you put in the work.

Isn't that comforting? Some may feel like a huge weight lifts off their shoulders and others will feel that a new weight is piled on. For answers to always being in Core Phase, first take a look at a post on the misconceptions of Core Phase.

Sometimes something happens to us that puts us back in Core Phase. It could be a bad decision, abuse, being bullied, a death, a divorce, loss of a job, etc. These things are often out of our control. But, sometimes they are consequences of our actions. Either way, if we are to pursue our Path of Mission, then we must renegotiate the things that are missing and fill in the missing lessons.

Examples:

Hope

If something happens that eliminates our hope...then we have a Core Phase lesson to work on to renegotiate ourselves back to having hope. In Erickson's stages of development (see Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning pages 23-26), having hope is something that should be learned around the age of 1 year old. The ways to teach, or renegotiate this lesson, is to have a) lots of physical contact and b) respond immediately when they cry or fuss.

But, what do you do with the depressed teen or the grieving adult? We do the same thing, but in grown-up ways.

• Offer hugs and a shoulder to cry on as often as needed. 
• Never belittle their worries, fears, or struggles.
• Constantly inquire after their needs to make sure we do everything we can to help.
• Be aware of things that trigger depressive states.
• Be aware of things that bring happiness and lift their attitude.
• Provide as many uplifting experiences as we can.
• Praise good attitude behaviors.

Will Power (Motivation)

Sometimes, and often at the same time, as a person begins to feel hope again, they notice they have a lack of motivation or will power. Sometimes people feel hope, but don't fully feel happy about themselves due to lack of will power. In Erickson's stages of development (see Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning pages 23-26), having will power is something that should be learned between the ages of 1 and 3 years old. The ways to teach these lessons are a) give simple choices, b) do not give false choices, c) set clear, consistent, reasonable limits, and d) be relaxed with mood swings.

With the teen or adult we could:

• Be clear with our statements about what we expect.
• Never expect the person to "read your mind" or "know what you mean".
• Have a sense of humor about things that don't matter very much.
• Meet on a regular basis (Family Executive Counsel) to discuss issues and solutions. Avoid doing so in the heat of the moment.
• Accept the person as a work in progress, raising the bar of expectations in small increments as they have success.
• Encourage the person to record their successes in a journal.

Summary

These are just two examples of renegotiating lessons of Core Phase. There are many, many more. I will be adding to this list over the next few months.

My Week in Special Ed.

I spent the early part of this week (and will be there tomorrow as well) substituting in a special education pre-K class for autistic children. Needless to say, it has been very interesting. Early intervention is for some parents a saving grace, but I wonder how parents would feel if they knew what was really going on in the classrooms.

I've seen children forced to play with shaving cream while they are screaming, "No, please! Too sticky!" or forced to lay on their tummy rather than sit on their bum to read a book. Some of it is so excessive for silly reasons that I just can't imagine why it happens. What is the purpose? So, I decided to ask a few questions about why the children have to lay on their tummy rather than sit on their bum. I got an explanation of how the child's muscles need to be built in their necks and lower jaw.

But still, I'm wondering why force them? Why not inspire them to follow our lead to lay on their tummy and play a fun game to strengthen those muscles? Do we have to practically sit on kids (yes, I've seen this) and make them do what we want just because they are autistic? Now, I have not spent a lot of time with autistic kids and I KNOW they all have behavior issues (this is part of how they are diagnosed).

My question is...can the Leadership Education model work with autistic children? I believe it can and will even be better for the children. The problem then becomes an issue of wanting results NOW rather than taking the time to inspire the kids. So it seems to be a matter of quick results over allowing time to make the changes in a more loving and respectful way.

I was reminded by a friend about how Helen Keller needed to be forced somewhat in order to learn to communicate. I observed, however, that the conformity was in behavior mostly...eating with utensils instead of hands, eating from her own plate, not being rewarded candy for bad behavior, etc. The people around Helen had created these bad behaviors in the first place. Ann Sulivan only reversed these bad behaviors and replaced them with good ones.

Also, Helen Keller was not autistic and had the ability to learn these behaviors. I don't believe that the comparison is a good one, but still I can see that sometimes force is a matter of getting the child's attention long enough to inspire them. For the children in the class I'm working in they do have "mainstream" kids coming in to be an example, which I think is excellent in teaching them to communicate and model preferred behaviors. I just don't agree with the extreme force some of these kids are put through at times.

The Beauty of Core Phase

I did not learn about Leadership Education (TJED) until my children were 13, 10, and 8 respectively. It took me another 2 years to fully get "off the conveyor belt" and begin getting myself in the right mindset to make sure we all had a solid Core Phase. I knew my youngest needed Core Phase for sure, and my other children had things to improve as well. The most difficult realization I came to was that I needed Core Phase work as well, yet I wanted a Scholar Phase. Now!

The Phases are Like A Planet
We often think of the phases of learning in a linear fashion. Our linear thinking would place the phases like this:

Core Phase ---> Love of Learning--> Scholar Phase-->Depth Phase--->Mission Phase--->Impact Phase

Phases of Learning like Earth

It looks as though you complete one phase and then move on to another. This model, however, is not correct. A more correct model is to think in a more "whole picture" fashion. I like to think of the phases as the planet Earth. In the center is the Core, then we add a layer of Love of Learning, then Scholar Phase, then Depth Phase, etc. The Core is still there. The Love of Learning is still there. We are just building upon prior knowledge and skills, adding each new layer to fulfill our creation as an educated person.

Without a strong Core, our planet-self would be hollow, or maybe only have half a core. If we continue our planet model, we know that Earth needs a strong core in order to have gravity work. It also needs the core in order to cycle around the Sun. With an out-of-balance or partially formed core, our Earth would wobble and make a very unstable effort to cycle around the Sun.

My Adult Core Phase (Work and Play)
I needed to correct some "damage" from my past, you know, the things we often call "baggage". Yes, I had some, most of us do. I heard a fantastic speaker, Julie Early, who talked about Adults in Core. I found that her talk was very correct in that I handled my Core Phase in much the same way as she describes it. I focused on figuring out what I needed to repair from the lessons of Core Phase in "Right and Wrong", "Good and Bad", "True and False". I read a few self-help books and applied them in my life (this was work). I put my focus more towards my family in organizing our home life (this was work). I tried to create wholesome family time to nurture relationships (this was play). I studied my central canon and applied the principles of my faith in my life (this was work and play).

The result: a happier life! 

Core Phase - Going Back or Moving Forward?

As my children were already "past" Core Phase ages, I would often refer to "going back to Core Phase" for them, when really we were working on both Core Phase and Love of Learning at the same time. You see, our linear model would make it seem as though only one phase can take place at any given time. This is a fallacy in our conveyor belt thinking. If we embrace the "whole picture" model, we realize that we are always working on the various phases, only adding new layers as we become more mature and ready for the next one. As infants we start out as small planets with only the need to build a strong core, then we add the following layers as our planet grows and matures.

If we are adults and just now learning about the four phases of learning, we have some of those layers already, but we can go inside and fill those layers with the right knowledge and skills while still building our Scholar and Depth phases. At some time we may have lost our Love of Learning, yet we can regain it! We gained some knowledge from our conveyor belt education, but we can round out our Scholar Phase and build upon what we retained by adding more of the classics.

The Beauty Revealed
Being an Adult working on Core Phase is nothing to feel ashamed about. Having youth in Core Phase is nothing to hide or worry about. It is part of the normal progression of life. Leadership Education is not about making sure you are in the "right phase" at the "right age". That is conveyor belt thinking! Rather, we only need to look at the "whole picture", making our main priority to fulfill the measure of our creation.

Cross-posted from In the TJED Trenches.